The New Spider-man Title is Really Bad

Intensity. Drama. Pain. Mystery.

Those words connect with Spider-Man, one of the greatest comic book heroes of all-time. For the 15th time since 2001, Spider-Man is getting a cinematic reboot. So what’s the title (now that Spider-Man and The Amazing Spider-Man are taken)?

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

Yup. That’s the title.

The first thought that comes to mind is Spider-Man trying to ruin high school dances filled with desperate students trying to get laid, spike the punch, or both.

Perhaps he’ll swing around the homecoming floats circulating the football field at halftime.

Or he’ll make fun of the old folks returning to their high school stomping grounds.

No, I’m not an idiot. Yes, I know “homecoming” does not actually refer to a homecoming. But in any case, this title sucks and it’s mainly because Sony and Marvel were in a bickering for years over who should get the bigger slice of the billions of dollars.

Marvel, of course, ultimately won and decided to reboot the franchise yet again. Maybe the third time is the charm.

NEVER FORGET EVER:

It’s so good:

Random Power Ranking: 1) Batman 2) Spider-Man 3) Irrelevant

-B the Eagle

Lebron’s Declassified School Survival Guide

For the second day in a row, we have back to back posts about a Cleveland sports team. Not surprising. This city is filled with unreal athletes who care more about getting featured on TMZ than winning games.

Let me cut to the chase. Lebron James is turning into a middle school girl. Who else posts minute long videos of them singing and dancing to songs? The last time I saw a video like this was of my 12 year old cousin dancing with her friend to some Miley Cyrus crap.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEGy5SGCTH7/”

Come on, Lebron. Really? Don’t do this to yourself. I’m embarrassed for you. Videos like this should never reach social media let alone be recorded in the first place.

My favorite part about this Instagram post is King James captioning the video with the hashtag, “Strive for Greatness.” In the time, James was recording this video, Steph Curry was probably putting up shots in the gym.

I’ll cut James a little slack after getting publicly shut down by Rachel Bush. I’d be devastated too if that happened to me but definitely not enough to put a selfie video up of me dancing.

Also why the hell is Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide playing in the background. Is that what James does in his free time? Listens to hip hop while watching Ned’s Declassified. God please help the Cleveland Cavaliers. They need it.

It’s very sad how many videos, there are of the Cavaliers acting like middle school girls. Stay off social media, Lebron and encourage your teammates to do the same. Don’t embarrass yourselves.

-The Rabbi