Who Is Ted Cruz?

All this year there’s been so much talk of each of the candidates. But nothing has been as obscure as the talk of who Ted Cruz is. Is he the Zodiac Killer? Probably. Is he the frontman of an old glam rock band? Maybe. Did he appear on Maury this week to find his baby daddy? Oh yeaaaaah. These are the many faces of Lyin’ Ted.

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You may be asking where does the internet come up with this crap and where’s the evidence to back any of it up. I reply with a “Does it even matter? It’s funny as fuck.” So here’s to you, ya good ol’ lyin, transgender hating, melting wax face, morphing, awkward, constipated smile, government shutting down, alleged affair-having, hated-by-your-kids bitch, America and the GOP hates your ass. Go back to Texas.

-The Irishman

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