The Top 10 Drinks Clay Aiken Would Buy For Perez Hilton At Starbucks


We all love coffee, right? Some of us more than others, me included. But for those of you who aren’t normal pike roast consumers, it’s likely you get something extravagant that costs $5-$7 without any caffeine in it. And more often than not, your girlfriend would break up with you if she found you getting one. These are your top 10 gayest and girliest drinks at Starbucks:

10-Chai Creme Frappucino

Not everyone likes coffee, I get it. Not everyone likes the bitterness of plain tea, understandable. But come on, this is a little too much.

9-Strawberries & Creme Frappucino

Need anything even be said? It’s essentially a milkshake of those old creamsaver candies of yesteryear.

8-Vanilla Bean Creme Frappucino

Nothing is more white girl basic than the most basic of all drinks in composition.

7-Ariana Grande Frappucino

Named after a female pop star, that’s all this secret menu drink needed to get on this list.

6-Dirty Valentine Frappucino

Would you like your copy of Fifty Shades of Grey also? Ok I’m done bashing frapps now.

5-Dark Chocolate Melted Truffle Mocha

Just imagine a 45 year old woman sipping on this in a Dove chocolate ad.. Makes sense to me.

4-Superfruit Iced Tea

Yas queen yaaaasssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing for a fruit like a fruity iced tea.

3-Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha

This one actually tastes very good but there is zero chance you’ll taste any of the espresso that comes with it.

2-Pink Raspberry Passion

“Pink like vaginas” as Vince Downey said in the movie Employee of the Month. And indeed it is. It is sooooooo Raven. (tampons not included)

1-Mojito Refresher

It’s a nonalcoholic version of your gay enemy’s favorite drink. Even Brian Griffin liked it.

brian griffin

While there were many more worthy drinks to mention, these were some of the most “ha, gaaayyyyy.” Alas, your estrogen levels will stay the same. Rest easy guys.

-The Irishman

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