The Twins: Mary-Kate and Ashley Could Do Better

minnesota twins

In what was expected to be one of the most competitive divisions in baseball, there is one standout. No, not the White Sox in 1st place. And neither is it Kansas City nor Detroit dominating again. It’s the 0-7 Minnesota Twins, off to their franchise’s worst start in over a century since they were 0-13 as the Washington Senators in 1904.

Nobody expected a start this poor. Oddsmakers even picked them to perform better this season than division rival Chicago. But for a team who hasn’t scored more than 3 runs in a game, there’s really no way you can do worse. This is again the team who surprised everyone last season by being legitimate playoff contenders for a while, ending last season 83-79 and spring training this year 19-11

What’s really went wrong so far though? Well that list goes on and on. They’re 23rd in on base percentage, 24th in league wide batting average, dead last in runs scored, and 5th in strikeouts (3 players each committing over 10 so far), among other terrible results. There’s just nothing good to say. These guys suck more than Will Ferrell’s soccer team in Kicking & Screaming before they got Mike Ditka and the Italian kids.

What can they improve on? Every. Single. Thing. Strikeout less, get on base more, and actually score in summation. It’s baseball 101 dude.

-The Irishman

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