LeBron James Has Been Working Hard To P̶r̶e̶p̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶F̶o̶r̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶P̶l̶a̶y̶o̶f̶f̶s̶ Impress Jordan Poyer’s Girlfriend

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Damn I hate LeBron. Fucking around all year only to turn it on in the last couple games, and just when you assume it’s because the playoffs are close by, you find out he’s slam dunking his way into a models DMs that was sitting court side at his game yesterday. Apparently, he shot 13 for 16 from the court but was still 0 for 1 from the Instagram field.

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To make matters worse (or better if you’re in it for the entertainment value), she’s already slamming Cleveland Browns Safety Jordan Poyer. Can’t expect much better from the sports stars in Cleveland. When in Rome.

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I will say though… I’m not gonna sit around and pretend that 95% of NBA stars don’t cheat on their wives. I’ll give LeBron that context. I’ll also throw him some pity points just because of the way he was outed was absolutely savage. Just an insane move by Rachel Bush. Treated him like a 7th grade boy that that was up at 3am trying to get some nude pictures. I will also quickly retract those pity points because of LeBron’s weak DM game. “Hey what’s up!” That’s all you got LeBron. At least James Franco got to the fucking point.

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Every famous person has to constantly ask themselves… Are these women going to destroy their lives Tiger Woods style?

On a final note, Jordan Poyer must feel like the fucking man right now.

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Not only did Lebron risk his marriage to smash your girl, he did so unsuccessfully. That’s how you know she’s loyal. If you haven’t already planned out a full marriage with her after that, you’re insane. Marry her now Jordan. Get a ring on it.

 

-The Tender

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